flygirl

i'm speaking for myself...

when i did a tandem 15000 ft above the earth, it was just an experience i can't really put in to words.... it's not just a physical euphoria - or rush - or adrenaline extreme - it's a way of throwing it all in to the hands of God - i refer to this as God, but you may refer it to whatever you wish...

i wanted to learn to sky dive

so i did a RAPS course - intensive training with my first solo jump

i did really well in my training and i felt confident during the day

this is my reason: i want to be taken high up, above the earth where everything looks so tiny, so small, so far away - to me, it's like i'm getting closer to God - here i am Lord - i value my life and i am grateful for the gifts in my life, but this is my way of proving my faith - it's me placing my life in the hands of God - and the thing is, with the risk factor, i know that whether i survive or not - God is

i got on the plane... i was calm.... but i was fourth place to jump

i wanted to be first place - i wanted to be the first to deal with the challenge

i was put in fourth place to jump

we reached 3500 and i looked at the first jumper and he was absolutely disorientated... but on 'go' and it's a loud aggressive 'go' he left the plane and so did the 2nd (with hestitation) and twists in his parachute - and then the third... and the third was the second's son and he watched his fathers' exit and his fathers' line twists and above that watched the instructors' face as absolutely serious and concerned as the 2nd jumper (the father) dropped to earth....... and i shook my head and said, 'i'm not ready for this'....

i felt a failure...

i drove home with visions of the day's events taking my focus away from my actual drive - i was in the plane... i was watching the reactions of the 3 jumpers before me - i was dealing with the challenge after the event... i was sad and disappointed and i realised my faith in God was as weak as it is non-existent

do i believe in God?

that is the question.. and it has nothing to do with what makes sense... i can read a million books on religion, i can make sense of facts or what seem to be facts.. but the bottom line is... when u are not in control of your life and death is a very real possibility - what do you do?

............ i'm going again

and will or...will not, tell you all about it

whatever it is... all my life is, a reason, a purpose.... this i know